i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
