I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
