please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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