omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
