I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
