Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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