Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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