It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
