Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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