I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
