just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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