i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
