I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We need to feng shui this bitch.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
