I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
