Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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