i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
