I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
