yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize