Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
