im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
