one two three fourrrrnication!
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
