There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We left the knife in your bed.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
