We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
