dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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