Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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