I bet he comes in French.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
