Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
