Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
