You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so explain again why im purple
no
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize