You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
