What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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