I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Vodka?
Forever.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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