this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
