is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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