U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i think i have herpe
just one?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
