Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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