i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
