So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
