I'm going to jail i love you
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
