Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Randomize
