Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
