I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
