At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
