no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
