It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
