He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I need to sanitize my soul.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
