Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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