fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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