And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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