yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
