I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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