we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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