whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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