dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
