ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
