Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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