she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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