you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Randomize
