I love black thongs
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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