Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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