Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
