Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
