Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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