yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
