she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
